Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
