She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
