That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
