youre lurking in front of me
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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