Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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