Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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