WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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