It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Drunk is a universal language darling
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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