She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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