Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
