My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wish i was in the wii world.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
