Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
