i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
