JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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