i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
