after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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