my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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