I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize