Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize