The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
