Porn is love you can see.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
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because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
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My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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