My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
