He is an equal opportunity slut.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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