yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
wow bdsm is so cute
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
