I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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