am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Someone came in the potted fern
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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