Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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