the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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