I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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