you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
