I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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