She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
