dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
