There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
