i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
