dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
