just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
