I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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