He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
