it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
