So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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