i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize