Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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