i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
