So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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