at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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