I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
