Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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