sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I will pee on everything he values.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
