Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
