it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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