Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize