So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
