Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
