break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
