Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
