he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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