I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I have fence marks all over my body
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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