I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
