I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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