A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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