Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
