I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
