Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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