dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
