cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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