he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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