Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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