Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
