Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
